One year ago today, Mike and I woke up very early and drove three hours from Tallahassee to Jacksonville. On the way there I was excited, nervous, anxious and many other emotions. We had made this same drive four months earlier and I was concerned that we would not be able to make it again. Our financial situation would not allow for many more chances to have a family.
We entered the waiting room of the office where we were able to wait together and then my name was called. With my bladder full of water, I was led back to a small cold room with an exam table and an ultrasound machine. A few minutes later, the room was filled with the doctors and nurses. There was an med student that was going to observe the procedure so Dr. Duffy explained the procedure play by play. He told the student to watch the ultrasound monitor and watch for a small quick flash of light. The flash of light was when the embryos were transfered. I sat my head up to also watch the ultrasound machine. I saw it..... the flash.... the moment that changed my life forever!!! It was the exact second that I became a Mom. It was very quick and then the next 30 minutes I spent in this room with the lights off laying very still on my back. I was wishing Mike could have been there for this moment because I felt so alone. However, I was not alone. I was thinking about the last time I was in that room and what I could do differently this time so this would end up with a baby (yes, a baby). I did not move for those 30 minutes where last time I got up at 15 minutes to use the bathroom. This felt like the longest 30 minutes of my life. Well, little did I know that I would not spend a moment totally alone for the next eight months!! I would spend the next eight months full of life and worried about the health of my... not one, not two but three babies. I was never able to imagine that one year later I would be holding and kissing three beautiful people that were simply a flash of light a moment earlier.
While I did not have the standard conception, it was amazing to know the exact second that I began sharing my body with the three most beautiful gifts of my life!!!